This is the second of my more light-hearted summer posts. The title comes from the 1987 movie directed by John Hughes and starring Steve Martin and John Candy. Appropriately enough, this post is being written while I am on a Boing 777 travelling over the Indian Ocean. Unlike in the film, my traveling companion is not a total stranger, but my twin brother, and our trip was planned several months ago. Our jeopardy was the result of Donald Trump’s war, as our route involved a stopover in Dubai.

Long-time readers of this blog may recall that in 2019, PC – pre-covid – together with my brother I wrote a travel book called Twin Tracks. The bok was about our interrail tour around Europe – Amazon may still have a few copies for sale. That journey was by rail. This trip has so far involved planes, a failed train trip, but with more rail adventures still to come, but no automobiles

The plane journeys, on an Emirates A380 and Boing 777 can pass with little comment, except to say that I find the A380 a much more pleasant, and quieter aeroplane than the 777, at least in business class.

So, on to the trains. One reason for stopping in Dubai was to try the UAE’s new railway line. When we booked our trip last November, before the war, we expected the railway to be fully open by summer 2026, including the Dubai station. Sadly, it is not. At present, the service runs non-stop from Abu Dhabi to Fujairah on the Gulf of Oman, bypassing Dubai.

We could still have taken the train, but it would have required a two-hour bus ride to the departure point, and another two-hour ride back. Tickets were also extremely hard to come by, and booking online required a local mobile phone number. As a result, we had to rethink our plans.

While considering the options, I reflected that the passenger line in the UAE isn’t the only delayed rail project. In the UK, there is HS2, of which the less raid the better, although most people now overlook the fact that the now hugely successful Elizabeth Line in London was also not only late, but also over budget.

The less said about the California Hugh speed Rail project or the sa=tation rebuild in /Germany, the better.

Of more concern to me is the government’s failure to open the new railway from Oxford (where I live) to Milton Keynes, creating  a connection with the West Coast mainline. The line is currently one of the most expensive freight-only lines in England.

I won’t bother with an explanation here, but safe to say it is a good example of what was once called the British disease.

Anyway, back to Dubai and a decision to visit Fujairah by public transport, for a daytrip. Why, partly because it’s there, and partly after four visits to Dubai, I had never been to that Emirate. Research for the trip discovered a public bus – really a long distance coach – run by RTA the Dubai transport authority. Interestingly, traffic congestion in Dubai has led to the service being switch from the Bus Station at Union Square on the metro to the end of the Green Metro line at the oddly named E& station, whether the E700 now departs from the adjacent bus station. White elderly males are a rare sight on the Dubai metro and, I suspect an even rarer on the E700. Certainly, on our return trip we were the only Europeans we saw on either the metro or the bus.

The ride is through desert and the mountains that separate most of the UAE from the Gulf of Oman. There is a new bus station in Fujairah, and stands alone on the edge of the town, requiring a taxi ride to reach anywhere – so, we did use automobiles, even if not by desire, but like in the film, because of the force of circumstances.

Fortunately, taxis are cheap in the UAE, where petrol costs very little, so we asked our taxi driver to take us to a restaurant on the corniche coast road. An enjoyable fish lunch later, and we retraced our steps, avoiding spending any time out in the heat that reached over 110F while we were eating our lunch. Had I mentioned 110F some years ago, nobody would have has much notion of what such a temperature might feel like: not so now.